Of course there are always the ups and downs in any long-term relationship. There are the times when you want to spend less time at home and more time out with the guys (Who hasn’t dealt with that one?), there are the periods when things start feeling less exciting and there are the days when nothing you say is taken the right way. Most of this can be brushed off as relationship hiccups. But if you find yourself constantly explaining to your friends, to your parents and to yourself why you feel like you need more alone time, or the nothing-feels-exciting feeling never lets up, it’s time to rethink where you’re at. These eleven relationship hurdles might be the wake-up calls you need to either make major changes within your relationship — or to get out entirely.
11. You’re Older/She’s Older
Nobody ever said relationships were easy. But an age gap does sometimes make them more challenging. While age doesn’t need to be a major issue, some common issues that come up are outlined in the video above. Make sure you’re both aware of these hurdles and are open to discussing them. Otherwise, you’re bound to run into trouble.
10. You’re Cheating/She’s Cheating
Cheating is never straightforward. But one thing’s for sure: Someone’s got one foot out the door if cheating is involved. Whether it’s for emotional or physical reasons, one of the hardest things to do is heal a relationship after someone cheats. So if you’re doing it or thinking about doing it, you probably need to rethink your relationship. It’s always better to end it before you get there.
9. You’re Losing Sight Of You
It’s not unusual, early in a relationship, to worry that we’re spending too much time with a girl, and every dude has the guy friend who ditches all his buddies when he has a new girlfriend. This video outlines how to maintain your identity in your relationship. And if you’re still having trouble, you may have some issues you need to work out before being relationship-ready.
8. You Can’t Talk To Her
It’s always nerve-wracking to confront your girlfriend about an issue without it becoming an all-out screaming match. Here are a few specific tips that will ensure you can get your point across on tricky subjects without offending her. And if that doesn’t work, well, you may need to rethink your situation. Every couple needs to be able to communicate.
7. You Need More Time For Yourself
It’s not wrong to want time for yourself. There are specific things you can do in your relationship to gain some “you” time, which are outlined in the video above. However, if you’re finding that you enjoy hanging out with your friends way more than spending time with your girl — and you’re making excuses to do more of the former and less of the latter — this is probably a red flag that you’re not exactly happy with your relationship.
6. You’re Holding Yourself Back
Do you feel awkward bringing up a relationship issue? Do you feel like it’s too much to introduce her to your family or friends? Are there secrets you’re keeping from her? If any of those sound like you, this probably means you’re majorly doubting her — but you’re denying it. Here is your wake-up call.
5. You Have A Stronger Libido
You don’t need us to tell you that sex fades in a long-term relationship. It’s normal for your girlfriend to not be in the mood every second — even if she used to be. Try these tips in the video above to try to spice up your sex life together. If you feel like you constantly have to coax her into the bedroom, it may be that your libidos simply don’t match up, or there may be a larger problem. In both cases, you may want to rethink how well you match up.
4. You’re Not Giving Her Enough Attention
Of course you want your girlfriend to make an effort to look good (see the next slide), but if she’s going overboard and flirting in front of you, this is a major red flag. Attention-seeking behavior like that is often the sign of a person with serious emotional issues — and unless you’re a psychiatrist, you, my friend, will not be able to help her.
3. You Think She’s Letting Herself Go
This is a tricky one. But hear us out. We love women. We love women of all shapes and sizes, colors and nationalities. But when you’re in a long-term relationship, there is nothing less sexy than seeing the person you were once super attracted to begin to get so comfortable that they stop taking care of themselves. And that goes both ways. We have a guy friend whose marriage ended because he totally let himself go post-wedding. Thought he was in the clear. Nope. You always should try to stay healthy in the same way you would want your partner to continue trying.
2. You Can’t Go To The Bathroom
In long-term relationships, you will always run into this situation: You need to use the men’s room (and no, we’re not talking about taking a piss) and she’s waiting for you. Do you run the shower? Do you wait until she leaves the house? We know a girl whose boyfriend literally locked her out of their apartment because he didn’t want her around. Honestly dude, we’re all human. If you’re thinking that much about this a few months in, you may not be as comfortable in your relationship as you should be at this point.
1. Your (Or Her) Jealousy Is Out Of Control
Sure, it’s normal to be jealous at times. But if she’s calling you at 2 a.m. screaming at you to come home because she’s sure there are girls who want to sleep with you and you need to leave right away, that’s just plain unhealthy. And vice-versa, of course. Not that that’s ever happened to us…